12/27/24 7:30pm
I hate watching queer movies because they make me so unbelievably sad. Even if it concludes in tragedy, the romantic relationship of the main charcters is always so complex and beautiful. While I'm watching, all that I can focus on is the fact that I will never experience this for myself. I will never be young and in love, discovering myself with and through a lover. I fear I will never have a beautiful, queer relationship of my own. Who would be able to overlook my looks, my body, my disordered head? Enough to want me despite all my flaws? I'm losing time and losing willpower. I just want someone to love and have them love me in return, but it feels highly unlikely-- I'm praying for the impossible.